Pocket Snacks 8.28.24: 10 Ways Parents Can Help Teens with Food and Their Bodies
MINDSET TIP/SHIFT
Last week, I polled my Instagram followers with these 3 questions:
Can you remember the first time someone made a body-shaming or body-affirming comment about your body? – I was 8 years old
Can you remember the first time you felt ashamed of the body you’re in or felt like you needed to change your body in order to be accepted? – I was 14 years old
Can you remember the first time you learned there were foods that were “good” or “bad” and you let those ideas dictate what or how you ate? – I was 3 years old
I ask these questions because for so many of us, these ideas and beliefs we have learned about our health and our identities – we learned them when we were very young. It takes time to unlearn them, to question why we believed these things about ourselves and our health in the first place, and it’s okay if it takes time to unlearn and relearn, and to redefine how you value yourself and how you prioritize your health.
I also asked my private clients what they wished their parents did or didn't do when they were teens. How could they have helped them mentally? Here are their responses:
“I think I would have benefitted from working with a dietitian who understands my needs as an athlete. I wish that I hadn't been put on random diets that my coaches suggested to my parents. I also wish that my parents would have modeled a healthy relationship with food instead of categorizing certain foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’”
“I wish my parent's hadn't labeled foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ and I also wish they weren't so anti-snack! This was partly the getting home less than an hour before dinner from practice and being HUNGRY!”
“My mom still verbalizes how anxious she is about ‘eating all the leftovers’ in a way that can be triggering. Makes me question my hunger and agency over my own food choices to appease her.”
“I wish my parents had known how unhelpful it is to post ‘goal bodies.’ That woman's body is NOT yours - that's okay!”
“Not taking before and after photos. Not looking at old photos of her body and voicing how she wished she still looked like she did when she was younger.”
10 Steps for Promoting Intuitive Eating During Adolescence ⬇️
These tips are from Intuitive Eating, and I've recently been providing similar advice to the parents of my teenage clients:
“Just as in the ‘terrible twos,’ adolescents are fighting for their autonomy.
They are likely to rebel against anything that is forced upon them.”
1. Provide easily available, balanced food for your teens.
Keep a variety of nutritious foods in the house, as well as the *play food that your teen enjoys. Involve teens in food shopping and in the preparation of meals. Many teens love to cook and are happy to be included in this experience.
*Instead of using words like ‘junk’ or ‘bad’ to describe less nutrient dense foods, I like to use the word ‘play’ because it's neutral and implies that those foods still offer us something (like joy and nostalgia)!
2. Ask your teens how you can help them.
They may appreciate your help in making breakfast or lunch and by providing snacks that can be taken on the go.
3. Don't fall into the trap of telling your teen they can only watch TV or be on their phones or computers after school while they're having their afternoon snack. If you connect relaxation with snacking, they might learn to overeat as a procrastination technique. Encourage them to eat a snack if they're hungry, and then suggest they do a non-food related activity to relax before starting their homework.
4. Talk to your teens about the people they're following on social media.
Help guide them away from people who endorse dieting or weight-stigmatizing messages.
5. Maintain family mealtime as often as possible, even if only a few times a week.
6. Do not make mealtime the time to reprimand or interrogate.
It is best for mealtime to be calm and peaceful, allowing for optimal satisfaction and recognition of fullness signals. The best way to get a teen to overeat or refuse to eat is to begin a fight over a meal.
7. Make no comments about what or how much your teen is eating.
Also be aware of your own body language or body scanning or your teen. Adolescents are highly sensitive to criticism and judgment. Even the slightest perception that their body or food choices are unacceptable can lead to shame, attempts at dieting, rebellion, or even eating disorders.
8. If you notice your teen is binge eating or barely eating, recognize that this may be a sign of emotional distress or unmet needs.
Spend quality time with them, be patient, and let it be known that their feelings are appropriate and may be expressed as much and for as long as needed.
9. If your teen is over- and undereating, and it becomes clear that they need further support, seek a counselor, psychotherapist, and/or nutrition therapist who is trained in Intuitive Eating and eating disorders.
Many teens have reported the onset of an eating disorder coinciding with seeing a professional who has prescribed a diet or a meal plan. You can also offer The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens to help guide them through this process.
10. Be highly aware of your own relationship with food and your body. Never make disparaging comments about your body, spend time talking negatively about what you've eaten or haven't eaten, or weigh yourself.
It will be extremely beneficial for your teen if you remove a scale from the house or put it out of sight.
*On a personal note, this point is very accurate and reflects my own relationship with my mother as a teenager. My mother routinely made comments about her body and my own, and I didn't realize how damaging that was until I pursued this line of work. The best way to help teenagers find peace with food and their bodies is to model a peaceful relationship to them.
MEDIA REC (podcast episodes)
As someone who totally fell for the trap of “eating clean” as a young female athlete, this is an episode I want all parents and coaches of female athletes to listen to! I learned the hard way that it truly does not matter how “clean” we're eating if we're not eating enough overall to meet our energy needs as active people. By the way, there's a word for an obsession with eating healthy and “clean” – orthorexia.
Episode Description:
Nutritionist and author Laura Thomas joins us to discuss what it’s like for kids living in the long shadow of clean eating, the “almond mom” trend on TikTok, the "wellness to woo pipeline," how parents and caregivers can let go of wellness-culture beliefs about food for themselves and their kids, and more. This episode originally aired in April 2023.
Laura Thomas is an anti-diet Registered Nutritionist. Her clinical work focuses on supporting parents and families to end intergenerational dieting and body shame, and work towards a greater sense of embodiment and ease in their relationship with food. She supports families of children experiencing a wide range of feeding and eating challenges, such as concerns with weight, very selective eating, food preoccupation, and other feeding and eating differences. Laura also runs the newsletter, podcast, and community Can I Have Another Snack? on Substack, where she is exploring bodies, appetite, and identity with a focus on parenting. She is the author of two books: Just Eat It and How To Just Eat It.
Nourishing Neurodivergence Podcast: Navigating Body Image, Disordered Eating, and Authenticity in Sports and Nutrition with Eden Morris, MS, RD, LD
My favorite part of my most recent podcast appearance is my answer to Sam's question toward the end of the episode: “If you could say one thing to yourself back when you were deep in your eating disorder and in the thick of it, what would your now-version of yourself say tell that version of yourself?” My answer is so honest and raw, and I wouldn't have been able to verbalize the things I shared on this podcast even a couple years ago. As a provider, as an athlete, as a human, I'm constantly learning, and my answer reflects that 💕
Episode Description:
In this episode, Sam chats with Eden Morris, MS, RD, LD to delve into the crucial and often-overlooked subjects of body image and disordered eating within the world of sports. Eden candidly shares her personal experiences, revealing the complexities of navigating disordered eating and body image issues as an athlete. The discussion also covers the influence of sports culture, the importance of intuitive eating, and the challenge of maintaining an athletic lifestyle during recovery. Eden also gives her insights on finding confidence, embracing authenticity, and overcoming career doubts in the field of nutrition and dietetics. Tune in for a rich discussion on personal growth, self-empowerment, and helping others find their niche in the dietetics community.
Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify 🎙️
SNACK/FOOD/RECIPE (seasonal treat)
Chocolove Bites, Pumpkin Spice in 33% Milk Chocolate
I spotted these in a shop at the base of Grand Targhee Resort when we were riding downhill there a couple weeks ago, and they're just pumkin-ey enough without being overly sweet. I love pumpkin spice flavored things, but I'm not into super sweet things. I've been adding these to meals and snacks as a way to enjoy a seasonal flavor that I love! 🎃
Also, if you're a fan of pumpkin spice lattes, remember to order yours without these 3 ingredients 😉 👉🏼 how I like my PSL
Did you enjoy this week's batch of snacks? Let me know!
Want to share Eden's Weekly Pocket Snacks with a friend? Simply email or text them this LINK!
Xo, Eden
- PS -
Want to work with me 1:1 or join my monthly support group?
